Once Upon A Time…

Tonight, I struggled for too long with my computer, trying to install Photoshop Elements, and then trying to connect my phone to the computer so I could play with the photos in my new program.

Was I successful? Oh, hell no. It sucked. A lot. Nothing worked correctly and now I am frustrated and grumpy. Instead of making magic with Elements, and possibly making my first earth shattering meme, I have decided to write a fairytale based on my misadventures.

Once upon a time, there was a young woman who found a magical disk rumoured to hold the secret of how to make an ordinary portrait exceptional, in no time at all.

Intrigued, the woman took the disk back to her cottage and began to study it. In order to truly understand everything contained within the disk, she needed a steel box which could see into the center of the disk and translate its mysteries.

Fairytale cottage

The fair maiden’s cottage. Maybe.

Did she have one? No. Seriously? What she had was new and shiny, but no magical steel box. Would it take a village of tiny elves to get everything to work?

Stymied, she spoke to a local wizard who knew where to procure the steel box she needed. He brought it to her, and there was much rejoicing.

Short-lived rejoicing.

The box, although effective, was slow; powered by turtles slathered in molasses. The turtles worked as hard as the could turning the gears that made the box work its dark magic.

Eventually, all of the turtles died, but not before finally unlocking the secrets of the disk.

Again there was rejoicing. And again it was short-lived.

Now that she had access to the power of the disk, she had nothing to use it on. There were no mythical images for her to enhance.

Cursing the gods loudly, she reached for her wineskin, but it was of cold comfort. Frustration rolled through her.

Then, a bolt of inspiration struck the nape of her neck and sizzled along her spine. She had a box of images just waiting to be revealed, but how would the ever make it out of their tiny little container?

Many, many failed attempts later… the woman threw her equipment across the room and gave up.

The wineskin brought more comfort and a gentle inspiration for a fractured fairytale. Perhaps tomorrow will be better, or maybe there will just be more wine, chocolate, and song.


Filed under Martini Madness

14 responses to “Once Upon A Time…

  1. Sarah (est. 1975)

    BAHAHAhahahahahaha. Girl, if you need help with Elements, just call.


  2. I typically do exactly three things with Elements: crop, fix light levels, and sharpen a picture. If you need help with any of those, give a shout.


  3. HAHAHAHHA….you should have skipped right to the drinking part!


  4. Thank god I have my husband to handle this crap for me. =)


  5. Liz

    LOL. At least frustration breeds art, right? Right? Loved the wineskin bit. We’re going through that now. One comedy after the other with our computer. Fix one thing, something else won’t work. Aargh! I feel your pain.


  6. That is how I am with ALL things cyber related! It took me HOURS to figure out how to install a stupid “button” on my blog! Hours. And I can’t get that time back, folks! LOL


  7. I laughed out loud at the line ‘eventually all the turtles died’. I shouldn’t have … I think my magical steel box is quickly approaching that state.


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