Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee is Here!

There has never been a more complicated relationship in my life than the one I have with my mother.

When I was young, she was my womanly goal. Do you know, she could put on lipstick, WITHOUT A MIRROR? Yeah. Badass.

She also let me push in her cigarette lighter in the car, get her pieces of gum after she smoked, and she wore an exquisite white eyelet cardigan that I covet to this day.

Only trollops would read this book. (I AM A TROLLOP!)

Then, as I got older, when hormones and teen angst consumed me, I became a raging bitch we no longer saw eye-to-eye.

The teen years were a blur of slammed doors and heaving sighs. It wasn’t until I moved out that I realized she was still the cool mom I had known as a kid; I had just been too self-absorbed to realize it.

Over the years, we’ve become closer. It hasn’t all been unicorns and rainbow poop, but I know that she would bury a body for me, and I’d cut a bitch for her. Now that’s family.

I am celebrating my mother and the advice she has given me in the new anthology, “Only Trollops Save Above the Knee.” I am honored to be included in this hilarious book, which is the brainchild of the talented Crystal Ponti.

The book is now on sale on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and the Apple book store. Check it out and feel free to buy a few copies for the hilarious and inspiring mothers in your life.