Tag Archives: pretend

Aliens Have Kidnapped My Children

My children are showing bizarre, otherworldly traits, and it can only mean one thing; my tiny humans have been kidnapped by aliens and replaced with imposters.

How do I know? They are playing together. Not only that, but they are ENJOYING IT.

See, I told you so.

Today, I watched them play one pretend game after another. The Boy was the daddy jaguar, The Girl was the baby jaguar, and they gleefully romped all over the house. Whenever they crossed a human’s path, The Boy would leap in front of his sister, and bare his teeth, while The Girl cowered behind him. She even shook with real terror.

Then they were kittens, meowing and pawing at furniture, making a den underneath the kitchen table, and purring while they rubbed up against our legs.

When they weren’t pretending, they were playing together with toy figurines. Pinkie Pie and Rattle Shake battled, swapped sides, and had long conversations on the meaning of life. Okay, I made the last part up, but you get the picture.

Usually, they tolerate each other, and one will only show real affection to the other when they know it will bother them. Nothing says love like an unwanted hug, or so my kids think.

They also engage in classic suck up behavior, with such gems as “See, Mom, I like the quinoa,” or “I chew with my mouth closed;” the battling and tattling, “He breathed on me!” or “She’s in my room! She will destroy everything! Even my soul!*”

So, I was completely unprepared for what happened today. I have no way of telling if this is a temporary alliance, like when France and England would declare a truce in the battle over Calais**, or if it was a real shift in how they regard each other.

Could you imagine a world where siblings co-exist peaceably? It really seems to go against nature. I always thought they thrived on the drama. And if they don’t get it from each other, what will they do?

They will more than like form an unholy alliance against me and their father. They’re both smart kids; we’ll never know what hit us. I’m going to have to nip this in the bud. Maybe I can put one of her stuffed animals in his room or kick around some of his legos just to stir things up. At least then, maybe, I’ll be able to keep my head.

*Actual quote

**Seriously, I have to stop reading novels about the Plantagenets

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