Did you know that today is Cinco de Mayo? You did? And so did everyone else? Interesting.
I did. And then I didn’t. And then I did.
Sometimes I think I am related to Dory from Finding Nemo.
Here’s my train of thought:
“Hey! it’s Cinco de Mayo. I should have a margarita and some guacamole.”
Five minutes later…
“What am I going to do tonight? I think The Boy has Cub Scouts. Maybe The Girl and I can get frozen yogurt.”
Sees post on Facebook on how people who aren’t Mexican will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo.
“Oh. Yeah. I forgot. I must remember to teach the kids about the Battle of Puebla.”
Later in the day…
“If I stop at Kohl’s, I can return those toys and pick up something for myself. Maybe that pencil skirt…”
I see an article about the best tequila on the market.
“Right. Cinco de Mayo. I used to drink an f-ton of Mexican beer to celebrate the holiday. I wonder if I could do that now…. But then I’d have a hangover, and who can work with a hangover?”
And so on and so forth until I’m at home, drinking a glass of Sauvignon Blanc on my couch and binge watching Daredevil on Netflix.
Seriously. I am amazed at myself. Where is my denunciation of the French? It’s certainly not stated in my wine choice. I might as well have said, “Gee, I wish the French had won the war. Let’s raise a glass to them.” Ugh. What the actual fuck?
(PS: condescending history lesson… Cinco de Mayo celebrates the defeat of the French in a key battle at the hands of the Mexican army)
So, what day is it again? Maybe I’ll have one more glass of wine before I go to bed. It’s not like anything is happening today, is it?