Tag Archives: writing

Where the Hell Have You Been, Pony Pants?

Hello, friends! You’re probably wondering where the hell I’ve been and are, frankly, a little insulted that I have been largely absent except for the occasional swoop-and-poop on the interwebs.

I have returned to offer a mea maxima culpa and beg for your forgiveness. Not that any of these things are more important than you are, but here’s a peek at what I’ve been up to.

1. I was in a wedding. My bestest friend and the godmother to my little beasts got married, and for some reason she thought it would be a really good idea to have me in her wedding. We’ve been friends for 12 years (we met at birth obviously) and you’d think she would know by now that I am a chronically late train wreck, good only for make-up tips and bringing magnums of Chardonnay. Either she forgot that, or my sparkling personality blinds her to my faults. Thank God there was a type-A maid of honor to carry the team.

2. My husband works too much. Every summer I go through the same thing. My husband’s work kicks up and he has to stay late doing stuff I really don’t get, but I pretend to, so I don’t look like a heartless strumpet. This means I am a single mom, just trying to survive being eaten alive by two demanding kids, luxuriating in the silence their sleep brings. When he is home, I am trying to connect with him, and by connect I mean ravage, because a girl has needs, you know?

3. I quit my job. Sadly, it wasn’t something worthy of a viral video when I did give notice. I know some people burn their bridges and salt the soil where the bridge supports were placed, but I actually liked the people I worked with. Well, most of them because there are always a few who make you want to poke your eyes out with a spoon rather than have to deal with them. Most of the stress came in wrapping everything up in a neat little bow, because obviously the company is going to crumble without me there. At least that’s what my ego thinks.

4. I am writing, or pretending to. I have you fabulous friends, and I contribute to BLUNTmoms (they are also snowed by my sparkling personality). I’m also trying to get my attempts at stringing sentences together published in a few anthologies, and they have deadlines at the end of the month. Seriously, if this doesn’t work out, I’ll be one sad puppy. So, get your tissues ready; I’ll need you guys.

5. There was a great migration of the elderly. My parents decided to retire and bought a house within spitting distance of mine. While it brings great joy (new babysitters!), it also brings stress (um, you want me to put that bookcase where?). Thankfully they are getting settled and only need The Hubs to do some heavy lifting. They can use him and I get a free meal out of it. It’s a big win for everyone. Except for my husband, who may end up in traction.

So, you see, I am simply a victim of circumstance. Or poor planning. Maybe both. Anyway, I am going try to be better about hanging out with y’all cause I love each and every one of you. Except for you, creepy stalker guy.


Filed under Martini Madness

A Pony On Tour

Hello friends! I am going on a tour, and I don’t even need to leave my couch. This will be the best vacation ever.

I was invited on this tour by Liz and her charming daughter, Zoe. Zoe is a lot like my daughter; smart, mischievous, and sure to be trouble when she’s a teenager.

Her adventures, or mis-adventures as it were, are chronicled on Zoe vs. the Universe. Some favorites include Zoe taking on Doc McStuffins (or, doctoring to be precise) and Potty Training. I’ll wait while you read and enjoy.

Back? Good. Now, I get to answer four questions and then pass the baton onto some other bloggers that you will enjoy just as much as you love me and Zoe.

1. What am I working on? As lame as it might sound, I am working on my blog. I just started writing in January, and I am still getting the hang of social media and building my audience (hi, mom!). For reasons not known to me, I have been adopted by the BLUNTmoms and featured on Mamapedia. It’s humbling and awesome and I hope they don’t figure out I am a fraud.

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre? It’s funnier, more insightful, and… that’s all rubbish. What I offer are dynamic, witty stories with a lot of dogs, kids, and insanity. How am I different? Um… I talk about poop and wine more than other writers?

3. Why do I write/create what I do? When I was a child, I was never without a book; just like Amy Carter. Books transported me to Walnut Grove, via the Phantom Tollbooth, on a horse named Misty. All of those stories stirred my imagination and I wanted to create my own. I’ve dabbled in poetry, short stories, and, obviously, blogging. Right now, blogging seems to work for me, so I’m going to ride this out for as long as I can.

4. How does your writing/creating process work? My inspiration is all around me. I take notes and brainstorm until I find something that “moves me.” I dash off an initial draft, then tweak, revise, proofread, force my husband to read my writing, then revise some more and publish. Sometimes, what I publish actually resembles what I started out with.

And since everyone is completely bored of me now, I’ll send the blog tour to:

Pam, author of the blog Divorce Doula. She is a Vancouver-based divorced mother of two awesome boys embarking on a respectful, amicable and often humorous co-parenting adventure with their father.*

Cordelia, the Multilingual Mama, is a writer, researcher, multilingual homeschooling mother, former sailing instructor, with a past in environmental science and social innovation.*

Shawna is a mom of 2.5 babies, blogging over at the Dovetail Blog. She describes herself as a huge nerd who takes way too many pictures of her kids.*

And the final stop is with Kim, at Two Bugs and a Blog. She is on a mission to share the good, bad and ugly side of parenting.*

*Bios shamelessly stolen from their websites.

Visit, read, and share. Tour your little hearts out!


Filed under Martini Madness